I've not got much today...

But what I've got is mine.

I'm hungry.
I'm tired.
I'm angry.
I burnt dinner.
My toe hurts.
My best friend's B-Day present is on someone else's porch.
My heart still aches.
I know I'm alive.

southern martyr 1-15-10

Battle not with monsters...

lest ye become a poet. For a long time I convinced myself I was just uttering these poems into the abyss. The abyss has started whispering back. My muse has returned. I knew that if I made myself write every little trivial thing that skitters across my mind then more and more words would come crawling out of the woodwork, but with quantity does not come quality. However, if I stop then I fear the words will stop. So here I go again. Unpolished and perhaps unfinished, my offering:

Muse

He's dark and he's pale
He's coffee and wine
He's strong and he's frail
He's rough and he's fine

He's hot and he's cool
He's godly and base
He's wise and a fool
Devil's hand, angel's face

He loves and he hates
He pushes and waits
He's crooked and straight
My choice and my fate

Bourbon on my tongue
and sorrow on my mind
The grace I've lost
and still hope to find

A blessing and a curse
The crossing and the line
Sonnets and blank verse
All or Nothing at the same time

southern martyr
1-12-10

Life's but a walking shadow...

I resisted as long as I could.
It called to me.
There's no other explanation as to why I knew it was out there
- cold, snow dusted, untrod -
waiting for me.
Waiting for the press of my feet.
Straining for the sound of my crossing.
The sky so grey that no shadow would betray my passing.







"...a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more."
~macbeth

Problem Solving

Boss wanted me to make a new pot of coffee because we had guests coming. There was still at least a half a pot of coffee left that was less than an hour old. Only one warmer on our coffee maker.

Problem solved:

2009 - Could Have Been Worse...

if there had been zombies. Work sucked, Geek & I split for good, work sucked some more, then my cat died. There you have it - the Year of your Lord, MMIX.

There's a full moon tonight, the second of the month - a Blue Moon, on New Year's Eve. It's an opportunity you may not see again. Take it. Do something you wouldn't otherwise do.

As you pass through the doorway from 2009 to 2010 may Janus smile on you from both sides.

I scare myself sometimes...

I was moving my desk into the Ex-Geek's office today and came across one of my poetry journals from about 2 years ago. I didn't remember writing most of them, so I started reading them before moving on to the next stack of crap to be sorted through. Most were my normal melancholy drivel. Then I get to one particularly cynical depressing bit of wordplay & I actually said out loud: "That is just AWFUL." It was. I think I may have just driven myself into a dark spiral. All the more reason for a brand new fluffy kitty cat - therapy. By the way, my long time, black, fluffy, cycloptic, feline companion, One Eyed Jack, died a little more than a week ago.

Happy Hollowdays one and all!

Untitled Awful Poem

She holds Hope
like a child's face
wanting it to stay
small, bright, & her's alone.
Yet, Hope grows into Dream,
it's gangly arms & legs
stretched - reaching.
Dream, enamored of Risk,
leaves Her to her garden,
her cats &
her dirty dishes.

southern martyr 2007

Cabin of my Mind

There are nights
when thoughts roll like marbles
on the hardwood floor
inside my head.

southern martyr
12-11-09