Tuesday, June 3, 2008

I'm So Smart I'm Stupid

I read. A lot. I'm a poet. So sometimes when I read something I'm thinking about other things... Ponies, kittens, sex, those geometric patterns left in drying mud. Anyway. I was looking up an address on RandMcNally.com (because MapQuest sucks) and I'm skimming the page trying to zoom in close enough to see what I need to see when suddenly I spot a word. A wonderful word. A word I think I know vaguely, but I realize with a fluttering heart that I've never seen it used this way before. Could it be? It makes perfect sense to me. I know EXACTLY what it's saying. "Recenter." And then I see it again. "Recenter maps on address." How original. How playful. I am feeling that same feeling as the first time I read Clockwork Orange.

Then I see the big picture. There is nothing new under the sun. Everything is as it was. The muck of mundanity sucks at my shoes and my brain plods slowly and deliberately back to work.

For those who care, there was a fleeting moment when the word "Recenter" filled my mind as the most beautifully off kilter way to state "More Recent." Now I feel melancholy and rather stupid. I don't even have the excuse of having been incapcitoxicated.

Monday, June 2, 2008


I'm a Faerie godmother!
My bestestfriend in the whole wide world gave birth to her life long burden Friday morning. He was a big baby-8lbs 11oz. Which means I won the bet and not only will I NOT be changing shitty diapers on our first Mall Crawl together, but I'll also be getting a fabulous prize (that DOESN'T come wrapped in a diaper)! I am so glad that everyone seems to be unscathed by the whole horrifying experience. I have crocheted a blanket, made a draft blocker for the scary closet door, tie dyed onesies & receiving blankets, made a sage smudge stick, fixed up a "Welcome Home" basket for the mommy which includes the first 2 seasons of Perfect Strangers, and found the perfect little buddha for Puppy's room.

I'm busy as hell at work, but I am soooo looking forward to being able to stop by and see the little gross bundle of poop after work. It will be so nice to watch him & play with him and then still be able to go home at the end of the night and have sex and drink and curse and then sleep late the next morning without any real worries. Yippeee! It's not my kid!