George III

I am sad to say that His Majesty the King has taken ill.

We are discussing allowing the Prince of Wales to act as Regent in his stead. There is much debate in parliment. It is said His Majesty engaged in consversation with a tree recently. I believe His Majesty may have indeed been conversing with the King of Prussia.

Until such time as he is needed the Prince shall continue to hold court at his Country Estate.

Not

I've not got Jack today.

I haven't gotten Jack Shit from anyone. And you won't catch me doing Jack for the rest of the day.

From now on, any time I'm beat down to the point I can't lift my head, I'm just going to post a picture of my pretty kitty Jack to remind me that someone somewhere does love and appreciate me for no apparent reason. I know I have people in my life who love me, but I have to, at some point, interact with them in a certain way to maintain that love. Jack, on the other hand, has the attention span of a goldfish and always seems to assume that just five minutes ago I fed him, petted him, took a lazy afternoon nap with him, offered him catnip, or saved him from certain death, when in point of fact I have been sitting with my Dying Grandmother for two hours after slaving away all day at work.

Here are a few facts and tidbits about me that I will post as a quick reference list on the side eventually:

*The Jack that I will be referring to frequently is my black, fuzzy, psychotic, cycloptic, feline friend. He was a stray when I found him and later had to have his eye removed due to advanced Glaucoma. He loves me unconditionally and after he dies I plan on having him turned into a tiny bearskin rug.

*The Dying Grandmother is my grandmother, and she is dying. I'm laying good money on her breathing her last on or VERY near the first anniversary of my Dead Grandfather's (my Dying Grandmother's Dead Husband) death.

*My mother and I take turns sitting with my Dying Grandmother every day. It is like some sort of horribly morbid game of Death Watch Musical Chairs. Mom is there with her ALL day until I show up after work and relieve her for two hours or so. The way my luck is running I'll be sitting in the chair when Dying Grandmother decides to die.

*My Best Friend does love me unconditionally, but she has "attachment" issues due to Dead Father Syndrome and is allergic to hugs and tears. She does love chocolate, but does NOT appreciate being given Hershey Kisses instead of hugs. She's a freak and has a blog, but wishes to remain anonymous.

*I have a lover - The Geek. He's wonderful, but he's a Geek, and sometimes the wireless router gets all his attention. He humours my melodramatic tendencies so I tolerate his geekiness. We've had a one night stand for the past seven years and haven't killed each other yet... I think it might be Love.

Well, that's all I've got today. I told you I didn't have Jack... but I do feel a little better for having vented. So thank you, "you know who," for giving me the idea to start spouting incoherent nonsense into the vast vacuum of the online universe. It helped.

She made me do it!

She's done it again. My best friend/worst tormentor has gone and done something...again. She started a blog, and thus has silently double dog dared me to do one also. There it is. One more waste of time in the vast wasteland which is my life. All because SHE had to go and start shit.

It would actually be a neat social experiment to compare and contrast our insanely differing views of the exact same events.

...By the way, I finally decided on BRUTALLY as the honesty setting for this particular blog so "you know who" (and you know who you are!) is not allowed to be offended by anything I might say here.